So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
