can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
