you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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