i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
