somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
