went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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