Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
