Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
