This house was built for laser tag.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
