We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
