did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
