That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
