i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
