I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sext me about skeletons
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
