my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
