Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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