She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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