wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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