Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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