Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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