return my video game
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The air taste purple.
Randomize
