im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
