I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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