that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
