Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
