aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
