trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
