Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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