Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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