Say something about gay babies.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
