Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
