If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
