Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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