look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
