i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My pussy is not your playground.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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