dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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