also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
