omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I didn't notice because vodka
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
