Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
ttyl tear gas
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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