yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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