OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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