SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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