Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
