I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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