At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
