So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
