I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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