so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
