well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
