Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
