like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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